If you are like most new college students, you have spent months anticipating and planning carefully for your arrival to The University of Findlay. Much of your attention has undoubtedly gone into preparing your dorm room and anxiously anticipating the wonderful relationship that is surely to develop between you and your new roommate. But for some, the ideal relationship has some challenges along the way and the dream friendship can often turn into what may feel like a nightmare.

You may be the one who prefers quiet and lights out by eleven and your new roomie may be the college party animal that believes that college life begins at midnight. Well, take a deep breath and realize that there are some helpful hints to help reduce the stress and tension among you and your new roommate and with some effort the two of you really can make things work.

No Psychics Here...
If something is bothering you, don't just ignore the problem and hope it will go away. It probably won't, and soon you'll have a long list of complaints about your roommate that you've never communicated. Your roommate may be wondering why you seem so annoyed all the time because you've never actually said what is bothering you. No one likes confrontation but it is worse to live in a confined space with someone that you have issues with. Get it off your chest in a direct and respectful way. People can't make an effort to fix something when they don't know there is a problem.

First Things First...
Discuss and come to agreements on issues that are important to you. If you can't study or concentrate with the TV on, then come to an agreement about quiet hours. If you like having people over and your roommate does not then determine a schedule that allows you to have the room at different times. You will inevitably have conflicts about some issues but you can minimize arguments by coming to agreements before problems arise. One helpful strategy is to draw up a roommate contract at the beginning of the semester so that you are each aware of expectations.

Make Emily Post Proud...
Practicing good roommate etiquette is a must and good manners go a long way in reducing conflict. Strong roommate relationships are based on mutual respect. If your roommate doesn't like you borrowing her clothes, then don't raid her closet while she is at class. Remember that courtesy can be contagious and if you behave politely and in a caring way your roommate will most likely model that behavior. So wish them good luck on a test, take messages and offer to pick up things he or she may need while you are running errands and see how they will do the same for you.

A Little Compromise Goes A Long Way...
Accept that you and your roommate will not agree on everything, but you both have to be willing to compromise. If you are a slob and he is a neat freak, then at least clean up common areas and he should try to be flexible and realize that your unmade bed doesn't affect him.

Accept A Roommate Is A Roommate...
Sometimes a college roommate is just that, a roommate. Someone you share time and space with. He or she may not be able to live up to the Hollywood version of best friend and confidant and that is OK. You do not have to spend every waking minute together or have all the same friends or interests. You can get along, live together and still count that as a successful roommate match.

Fight Fairly...
When conflicts arise it is easy to attack the person involved rather than the problem. This will only cause more problems between you and your roommate. Focus on the problem, not the person. Try using direct statements about the problem at hand and eliminate personal insults, name calling and passive aggressive behaviors like hiding their belongings or locking them out when they don't have their keys. Strive to be mature and fair when dealing with your conflicts.

While it may come as a bit of a surprise, many of the life lessons you learn in college happen outside the classroom. Figuring out how to live with someone involves respecting differences, sharing, being courteous, and accepting others for who they are.  While living with another person may challenge you at times, the reality is the benefits of sharing time and space with someone who is having similar life experiences is worth the effort. Who knows...that roommate you thought may never last might become a lifelong friend.